LOG1: Keep Up The Pace
20220930
You know, I really didn't mind the pandemic for a bit.
When the lockdowns first started up, a large number of people were thrust into an unknown situation. They had to work/study from their house and stop going out, confined between the walls they called home.
I know people who were annoyed, and I know people who were overjoyed. (As well as those indifferent to the whole thing)
Despite these different reactions and situations, those around me were on the same level, the same playing field, for just a moment. As awful of a situation as it was, I felt like I finally had some pause. A rare piece of... well, peace. Things just moved a bit slower, and I was all for it. (Er, mostly.)
Now that life is basically back to normal here, I can't help but feel fatigued anew. Time marches forward faster than I can feel it breeze past me. It almost feels like impostor syndrome, but for life.
"Why does everybody around me know this thing? Why has everyone around me experienced this, and not me? Did I just miss some kind of, "rite of passage" that "everyone" goes through?"
"...what the hell am I doing?"
Let me tell you folks, it does not feel very good to be out of the loop on many things at once. FOMO is real, and I've got it baaad.
Tangibly though, it doesn't affect me. At least, it doesn't quite feel that way. In that moment, feeling that misplacement was a burst of "ouch." That's all it was: a burst, a spike, a fleeting moment.
My relationship with my friends and family didn't take a hit. I did not become a "worse" person by not knowing or experiencing completely arbitrary things.
Venturing into voice acting was pretty eye-opening. I joined a week-long workshop not too long ago, and it was fun as hell. None of my friends are exactly the theatre type, save maybe one, so you can imagine my surprise when the people there were almost in the same boat.
I got to be weird with people, instead of around them.
Look, I'm not exactly saying that being "weird" or goofy is a super unique thing; I think everyone's a bit weird, and a lot of them just don't want to admit it. I don't have any grudges towards anyone. I never have. I love the people in my life to death, and this was just a pebble in my shoe. The fear of missing out is a knife that cuts, but I won't let it slice deep.
I'll just keep on doing my way. That includes the awful jokes.
Come back next time and I'll complain about social media or something.